Recently I wrote a short blog on the topic of bullying. The blog merely stated how bullying is tragic and needs to be stopped (Read the past blog). So when I found out there was going to be a day, October 20th, where people would all wear the color purple to honor those who took their own lives due to bullying. I don't own anything purple but I had planned to take part in the event, but as I started doing more research about the event I decided not to take part. Here is why.
Wearing purple was to honor the LGBT kids that took their own lives. Okay, so what about everyone else? What about Phoebe Prince, a girl who wasn't gay, who took her life due to bullying. What about Sladjana Vidovic, not gay, who took her life due to bullying. There are plenty more people who wasn't gay, who also took their lives. So my point is, I refused to take part in wearing purple because if we're not honoring all of those who died because of bullying then we shouldn't honor anyone at all.
Now, before anyone starts sending me hate emails and calling me a bad person, hear me out. If you wore purple because you are remembering someone who you were actually close to, who you physically witnessed them getting bullied due to them being gay, than that's fantastic. Because there has been plenty of times when I would be bullied right in front of some of my best friends, and they did nothing. They just stood there and let it happen, and I bet some of them wore purple the other day, Why? To make them feel like a good person. We need more people who are not afraid to stand up for what's wrong. But if you're wearing purple because you want people to think highly of you because you are a gay supporter (Which let's face it, that's how our society works. We like to feel important, and we like it when people think we're important) than you're doing it all for the wrong reasons. I'm starting to rant now, so I need to just step away from the keyboard. But I just felt like this whole thing was a gimmick, and it was unfair to not give recognition to all of those who have died.
14 comments:
hey! yes lets exchange links!
I see exactly what you mean and I can comment on it further. Don Henley said it best when he said, "People love it when we lose, they love dirty laundry."
Today's society has grown into a sick and twisted version of a group of people that like to hear the sad and horrible stories of those who are tortured, abused, killed, and commit suicide. It's just the way we've grown. And I hate to see those who "support" it with their conscious telling them that they are wearing purple to support gays, and their subconscious telling them that they are doing it so others can physically see that they support gays, and others can see that they must be nice and open people because they have purple on.
I have a sister who is gay and married to her best friend. My best friend is gay as well. It hits home for me when people are abused and tormented for it, because I know what it feels like to have close family members and friends who are gay and I know how I would feel if they ever had to be in the footsteps of someone who was bullied so much they wanted to kill themselves.
I saw it as a gimmick, as well. and why on earth did someone think it would be appropriate to call it 'spirit day'?! Making your facebook profile picture purple, or wearing purple for a day, has absolutely no impact on the troubled youth out there who feel like they have no one.
@Anon - I am the first Anonymous poster. I can't believe it was called Spirit Day, I didn't even know that! That's shit.
I want to see one single person who wore purple out there making that one phone call or text message that stops a gay from killing himself and gets them into help so they can get rid of the torture and abuse, then I would totally fall for this purple gimmik.
I can't agree more with all of you. By wearing purple, you're not actually doing anything other than showing you are a gay supporter. If you've never actually stood up for anyone that has been bullied, then why bother to wear the color at all?
thank you so much for writing such an honest blog post. i couldn't agree more!
I think as a writer, it's very important to be honest at all times. And I think it's important to express you're honest opinion. Thanks for the comment Jess.
xxo Marcus
I always inspired by you, your thoughts and attitude, again, thanks for this nice post.
- Thomas
I completely agree. There was a post on tumblr with similar views and I'm pretty sure the OP got flamed pretty bad. Good for you for sticking to your guns :)
xx
Thank you all for your comments.
--Thomas, I'm glad I am able to inspire you. That is what blogging is about. Blogs should inspire not dictate.
WOW. I agree with you. I couldn't help but wonder the same thing. Many of my friends say it's for raising awareness to stop bullying on LGBT people. However, I think everyone should look at the bigger picture--which is bullying in general.
I did indeed wear purple, not just because I felt upset by these deaths, but I felt like I would do the same if these kids weren't gay. Besides, purple is also my favourite colour so I wear it quite often.
I wonder if this comment made any sense but I really enjoy your blog Marcus!
Exchange links?
http://hisamlui.blogspot.com
it makes me furious when people just say they support gays and just go use 'gay' as a swear word the minute after that...
When they saw how 15 popular kids bullied my friend for thinking he was gay, they just said it was awful but did nothing. i saw it and went hitting that big bully guy, he doesn't hit girls so i got away with it.
In my language people tend to use "homo" as a swear word my class has heard a lot from me on that topic every time i hear someone say that i say everything they don't want to hear but they knew it all along... what a shame, why do people think they could put all blame and shame on the gay community!
Spirit day was organised exclusively for LGBT kids- it was about acknowledging them as well as helping them with bullying and discrimination and it's resulting damage. It was also about confronting people with the idea that LGBT kids have different problems (of equal validity) to other kids, that they're bullied for different reasons and that something needs to be done about the way society simply places all bullied kids into the one big boat, brushing aside the uniquity of an LGBT adolescence. Spirit day could have been organised for all bullied youths, not exclusively LGBT kids, but in allocating a minority it highlighted the fact that there are very different types of bullying and each should be adressed in a different way. Calling a ten year old boy a 'fatty' is a very different thing to calling that same boy a 'faggot'- one name insults on the grounds of something that can be changed, something physical that will bear less stigma in adulthood, while the other name expresses hatred because of something permanent that will often remain a catalyst for discrimination well into adulthood. This is a generalisation, but if one looks at raising awareness for bullying/discrimination in this way, it becomes clear that throwing all bullied kids (including LGBT kids) into one big boat is not an educated or effective approach- any real change will come from shining the spotlight on one sub-group at a time. The people who worked towards realising spirit day were asking people to wear purple as a means of visually expressing the identification of a problem, the first step to actually adressing it. The problem that they chose to identify, and that they obviously felt passionate about as individuals, was the bullying and discrimination of LGBT kids that has lead to damage and self harm. By carrying out your suggestion, which is to hold a day for ALL bullied youths, you would be restricting the dichotomy of these bullied youths, the focus on one sub-group that allows for change and growth. If you're so passionate about broadening spirit day's audience, which would be counterproductive seeing as though members of the LGBT community have worked towards NOT sinking into the depths of the western instituion (being told that they're actually just like everyone else only with a different 'disorder'), then perhaps you should be working towards the organisation of an awareness day that fits your own requirements instead of criticising the good work of others.
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